“I want world sympathy in this battle of might against right.”
Gandhi
10/24 We went to the city art museum which had some of the best explanations and maps of Buddhism and religious history through art and sculpture I’d ever seen. Nepal basically blended Chinese/Buddhist and Hindu religions. We had lunch at Cream, giant pooris – then quickly visited Mahatma Gandhi’s house, which had amazing dioramas and a letter that Gandhi had written to Hitler, as well as to Roosevelt. I was surprised to learn that Martin Luther King, Jr. was so inspired by Gandhi, that he asked to sleep in Gandhi’s room after he his death to experience Gandhi’s energy and insight.
After this we visited a vipassana acharya teacher who just completed a 45 day course. I was so very lucky to arrive both on Diwali and be able to meet this teacher, who was able to understand and answer my questions.
Diwali Explained, Celebrating the Victory of Light over Darkness
Diwali celebrates Lord Rama’s victory over darkness. In the Hindu pantheon, Rama is God as a king. Krishna is God at play. All are the same, one God with different faces and manifestations. In this story, Lord Rama is incarnated as a human son of a King with special strengths. His gift is that he can see beyond the veil of illusion. Rama is unfairly banished to the forest with his wife Sita and brother, where they encounter shapeshifting and cunning demons. It is not that demons are bad, but that the balance between good and evil had tipped. Eventually, Rama battles the demon king, who had lost sight of balance. With the help of Hanuman the monkey god, Rama is welcomed home by his people with thousands of candlelights as the rightful King.
Listen to the Ramayana story in full splendor at Mythology on Spotify:
Map: Gandhi’s Home and Global Vipassana Pagoda
Scroll to Zoom out to see where these places are in reference to your home and other landmarks.
Kirtan: devotional song, often in call and response, “wake up the sleeping soul”
Polymorphic Monotheism: various deities represent multiple faces of universal God
Each deity is an energy
Creator, Preserver, Destroyer
God is the divine being, goddess is divine power (energy)
Krishna is god at play, Vishnu is god at work
Trip Information
The trip was run and organized by Gopi Kinnicutt, owner of Bhakti Yoga DC. The trip was managed by Prema Nanda and Radha Sheran. Skillful driving through the mountains was by Nassim. Himalayan trek guides (Jaman Singh, WhatsApp +91-89790-49706) and many porters carried our camp 9km to set up tents and kitchen for hot food. Many people were involved in arranging our transportation and lodging. Photos used were taken by everybody in the group, especially Prema, Alex, Lauren, Ande, Shannon and Johanna. Thank you!
“Barefoot pilgrimage around giriraj, 6am to 4pm. Very long. Barefoot through the cities. Samadhi saints in salt. Radhakund – holy water. Radhe and Krishna – holy lovers. Krishna and his 108 Gopis.”
Olivia Jeffers, Journal Entry 10/20/2022
In the streets, people greet you with “Radhe Radhe!” It is an expression of love for Krishna’s counterpart. In Vrindavan, the ponds and mountains are the gods themselves. People will bathe in the Radhekund, offering milk and flowers into the water, become a melange of swirls and petals. Women dance at the temple as his Gopi’s, Krishna’s 108 lovers. Devotees make pilgrimage to Govardan Hill, the great mountain cursed to sink that is Krishna himself – here they will walk over 20km around the mountain, through a maze of city and temples and holy ponds. At this mountain, the monkeys are his friends, and the cows are holy.
Journal Entry: 10/21, Last Day at Vrindavan
We started today with yoga in a circle, fruit breakfast due to fasting ceremony (no grains or beans) – then closing transition ceremony with the rocks at Giriraj – the monk visited as well. A dog also completed our circle.
People shared that they want to take away back home… prayers, curiosity, loving devotion.
“Return only as a servant, no duality here between material this and spiritual that.”
Our Monk Friend
We went to the lion temple and got to see full Darshan – to see and be seen by the gods. A woman came in like a storm with so much fervor for singing and Kirtan, prema got a drum and we all sang, the priest said that Narsingha is awake and revealed the full statue and oiled it, showing the lion god ripping out the insides of a child abuser demon. We wrote and put in prayers for the lion god, for protection. Lunch was tapioca.
Dancing Kirtan with Alison at the ISKCon temple with Russian girls leading. Dinner at MVT guest house. Taj Mahal in 5 hours.
Map: ISKCon Temple at Vrindavan
Scroll to Zoom out to see where these places are in reference to your home and other landmarks.
Kirtan: devotional song, often in call and response, “wake up the sleeping soul”
Polymorphic Monotheism: various deities represent multiple faces of universal God
Each deity is an energy
Creator, Preserver, Destroyer
God is the divine being, goddess is divine power (energy)
Krishna is god at play, Vishnu is god at work
Trip Information
The trip was run and organized by Gopi Kinnicutt, owner of Bhakti Yoga DC. The trip was managed by Prema Nanda and Radha Sheran. Skillful driving through the mountains was by Nassim. Himalayan trek guides (Jaman Singh, WhatsApp +91-89790-49706) and many porters carried our camp 9km to set up tents and kitchen for hot food. Many people were involved in arranging our transportation and lodging. Photos used were taken by everybody in the group, especially Prema, Alex, Lauren, Ande, Shannon and Johanna. Thank you!
“I think maybe that’s the dark energy I’ve been “battling” my whole life – the dark energy of wellness. A self obsession with perfection.”
Olivia Jeffers Journal, 10/17 in Rishikesh
Journal Entry, 10/17: Beatles Ashram at Rishikesh
10/17 stayed in Rishikesh. Visited the Beatles ashram then shopping, massage and an artika ceremony by the Ganga which turned political. The Beatles ashram was very interesting – Radha Sheran hated it (our guide) and felt the energy was bad and the good energy had expired. It was ruin, no one is here – “if it had good energy people would be there”. It was the birthplace of transcendental meditation, which I’ve always had a bad feeling about.
We went into the house, and both Alison and I saw a basement entrance that we both felt had very very dark energy, and avoided. I felt a bit drawn, but also very scared. It felt black, like the watery hole in the cave, a calling – but in a lethal way. Calling you to your death. I felt like I might pick up a spirit if I opened my mind too much there. Was glad to be with a group moving quickly. I think maybe that’s the dark energy I’ve been “battling” my whole life – the dark energy of wellness. A self obsession with perfection. The stupas, the dome things, were actually built in the 1970s after the Beatles visited – and were made of Ganga river stones to collect cosmic energy. Each stupa was like a one bedroom apartment with a bathroom and shower.
I was trying to understand the collective consciousness at the time the Beatles visited. They were a big force in popularizing eastern spirituality. Alison and I talked about how the Beatles would have been born during or after World War II – where London and Hiroshima were bombed, where their parents probably had ptsd – as teenagers there would have been constant anxiety over nuclear war – and then as adults, they would have been drafted into the Vietnam war… it would have seemed crazy. All this war. Insanity. I can see how “love is the answer” would have been a desperate plea – a younger generation to the older to PLEASE stop fighting, stop the wars. Please.
“I think maybe that’s the dark energy I’ve been “battling” my whole life – the dark energy of wellness. A self obsession with perfection.”– Olivia Jeffers, Journal Entry 10/17/2022
And of course… that energy in such a young generation inevitably leads to lots of sex and drugs. Grandiose pursuit of power. Getting lost in the darker side of eastern spirituality with no guides. I can feel now for a generation I had felt frustrated by. From my perspective, the pitfalls they stumbled into seemed so obvious and preventable – from their perspective, what they did was risky and revolutionary with no guidance.
Journal Entry, 10/17-18: Artika and Rally at Rishikesh, to Vrindavan
After we went shopping, I got 2 pairs of yoga pants with full range of motion – and then one korta outfit for 3000 rupees. After we got massage, I wore the korta to the artika and it was fun to blend in.
The whole day was a day of extremes all at once. The Beatles ashram was a dead ruin, we went for lovely massages while a cow bandaged with sores waited to die outside, we saw a beautiful sunset as a cow shat-splattered diarrhea on the steps to the Ganga. We enjoyed a beautiful spiritual ceremony while a spiritual woman shamelessly promoted her book and a political rally was given.
10/18 on the road from Rishikesh to Vrindavan. Feeling much better. I officially have the “business class” seat on top of the luggage in the bag, where I get to be reclined or sitting and have windows on all three sides – but I have to arrange myself and the luggage to get comfy. It works perfectly for me because I like that and I don’t get motion sick this way.
Map: Beatles Ashram in Rishikesh
Scroll to Zoom out to see where these places are in reference to your home and other landmarks.
Kirtan: devotional song, often in call and response, “wake up the sleeping soul”
Polymorphic Monotheism: various deities represent multiple faces of universal God
Each deity is an energy
Creator, Preserver, Destroyer
God is the divine being, goddess is divine power (energy)
Krishna is god at play, Vishnu is god at work
Trip Information
The trip was run and organized by Gopi Kinnicutt, owner of Bhakti Yoga DC. The trip was managed by Prema Nanda and Radha Sheran. Skillful driving through the mountains was by Nassim. Himalayan trek guides (Jaman Singh, WhatsApp +91-89790-49706) and many porters carried our camp 9km to set up tents and kitchen for hot food. Many people were involved in arranging our transportation and lodging. Photos used were taken by everybody in the group, especially Prema, Alex, Lauren, Ande, Shannon and Johanna. Thank you!
Kirtan: devotional song, often in call and response, “wake up the sleeping soul”
Polymorphic Monotheism: various deities represent multiple faces of universal God
Each deity is an energy
Creator, Preserver, Destroyer
God is the divine being, goddess is divine power (energy)
Krishna is god at play, Vishnu is god at work
Trip Information
The trip was run and organized by Gopi Kinnicutt, owner of Bhakti Yoga DC. The trip was managed by Prema Nanda and Radha Sheran. Skillful driving through the mountains was by Nassim. Himalayan trek guides (Jaman Singh, WhatsApp +91-89790-49706) and many porters carried our camp 9km to set up tents and kitchen for hot food. Many people were involved in arranging our transportation and lodging. Photos used were taken by everybody in the group, especially Prema, Alex, Lauren, Ande, Shannon and Johanna. Thank you!
“Glaciers in the moonlight. Yoga overlooking Himalayas. Crazy traffic, fumes, nausea… wanting to get out. Cranky. Tired. Stay with the group. Walk luggage to hotel. Cold, no heat, limited water. Kirtan in reception room.”
Olivia Jeffers, Journal Entry 10/11-12: Uttarkashi to Gangotri
“Bought glove-mittens and fleece lined jacket from Nepali couple, as did most of our group! I was happy about this. Story time with Vish and Sri vrindavan group, I could barely stay awake. “Blue lotus blossoms in the heart through grief” – about the kaliyuga, the time period we are in where most people forget spiritual nature. Hike to baba in cave. Dip in Ganga with Alison at 5pm. From Gopi, pilgrimage to Ganga or Bhakti is devotion, love for Ganga, not selfishly asking for removing sins. People like to dress up Ganga by putting scarves and jewelry in the River. Kirtan bracelets setting an intention for our hike. Letting go, offering service to Ganga. Prayer, action.”
Journal Entries, 10/13-14: Hike to Gomukh, 3 Days Trek
10/13 Hike to base camp. 9km. Sandals. Headache. Tired, thirsty. Altitude. Marma massage from Prema. Went to bathroom, ate sweets, drank water, napped – feeling lots better. Word is surrender. Got water from the Ganga with Alex. Really nice getting to know everyone. We did a big Kirtan with Vish’s group in the yurt, and a big massage session earlier. I found myself wondering “how did this become my life? I am in a yurt that smells of peppermint where people are giving and receiving massage at the base of the Himalayan mountains in a pilgrimage to the source of the Ganga… and I am part of it, I am a functioning part of it.”
10/14: I had nearly no sleep, and my lungs were shot at the start of the 19km hike. I surrendered my watch and phone, letting go of time and photos and stories for the pilgrimage. We still don’t know exactly how long it was, but it took 12 hours. I was not sure if I was suffering from mountain sickness or coronavirus, since the symptoms and onset were so similar and one of our group had tested positive. I had a big cry, and felt a lot of achy-ing-ing on the back of my chest. Some memories to the last time I felt so tired, waking up in high school beyond exhausted each day just trying to stay awake, and never really being able to sleep. Alex helped me, and Evelyn gave me a piece of her knee tape.
My hips were so tight from sleeping cold in the bag that I couldn’t walk without knee pain. I eventually went in just socks for about 2km until my hips opened up and I went back to the boots. I was barely able to reach the source and immediately passed out under then on some rocks. I felt like I was in total surrender to the mountains.
Surrender was my word when introducing myself to the group doing kirtan in the group. On the first day my word was ‘healing’- it looks like I need to surrender to heal. While I was napping, half the group crossed the river to go to the glacier source. Michael told me a safe spot and Alison went with me as I quickly dipped three times into the ICE COLD FRESH MELT FROM THE GLACIER Ganga. We walked back at different paces, I ended up alone most of the portion as the sun began to set and eventually became dark and I used a head lamp.
It was beautiful… stunning and a blessing to be alone. I did what Gopi recommended which was to chant, to sing – to offer my love and my voice to the mountains in awe and love and devotion – I eventually settled on “Hare Krishna” to the tune of “Country Roads” – and it gave me courage and energy to finish the hike, especially in moments when I felt so fatigued I could barely continue. Or so sudden pangs of grief in my chest and back I felt I would fall to the ground. I learned on those 5 or so kilometers on my own, that I could be present with my grief AND feel love and devotion moving outward of my heart towards the big mountains.
It was like a flossing of my heart, in and out, front and back. Moving or massaging the grief, holding it. Not rushing or pushing it out, but knowing that with love I can bear it and make space for it.
– Olivia Jeffers, Journal Entry: Hike to Gomukh
The mountains are so big and so vast, shivas playground – the gateway to heaven – imagining like Gopi said, that the spirit of the gods are roaming and we are entering their domain.
“Revering nature is revering God”
Signage on the Pilgrimage Trail
One Indian pilgrimage group warned me of falling rocks – a herd of goats was moving above and the rocks were the size of softballs whizzing by – lethal hits. Their guide helped me by telling me when to go and stop. It felt like an adventure also trusting this person – whose language and culture I did not share. He was a trained trek guide and I could tell he had a sense of responsibility toward me. I ran then he said stop and I stopped – I looked up, more rocks – he saw the goats stop and the rocks stop – he said “go FAST” and I ran – as I got to the end, some smaller rocks whizzed by and I could feel them rush by my leg. It was incredibly intimate, putting my life into his hands. I thanked him with a namaste from afar and continued.
On returning it felt like I was chasing the sun through the gorge. I got to watch it go from light to dark, meeting fellow pilgrims passing – and when it got dark and everyone had their headlights, they looked like stars moving through the night. I quarantined myself on returning, as the descent eased some symptoms but I still felt sore in my chest and starting to cough. I slept alone in the tent and Alison and Prema helped get me food and water and extra sleeping bags to stay warm.
Chasing the Sun, Alone in the Mountains
Journal Entry, 10/15: Winding Down the Mountains
I woke feeling better having had a somewhat warm (but still quite cold) evening. I filled my water bottle with water from the Ganga and almost slipped in, by stepping on a wet rock – which had frozen! It ended up being quite slippery and I barely managed to stay upright. We packed up then hiked the final 9 km to the hotel, then a bit more to get to the bus. After the hike, my condition deteriorated rapidly and quickly and I needed to be horizontal and warm and covered on the bus. Jaman recommended that I not take chai, as the milk would stick to my lungs and make worse coughing. I ended up sleeping flat on a little throne atop the luggage with multiple masks on, enjoying the bouncing and windows on all three sides. Johanna and Gopi unfortunately did not enjoy the winding mountain roads, and both vomited out the window. Not at the same time. It’s nice of Gopi to not need to know if I have coronavirus, and treating it as a bad cold. It’s nice to sort of expect something like this to happen, and not treat it as an abnormality, but as a part of life, and move on with it.
Bus ride from Gangotri toward Rishikesh. As we are coming down out of the high Himalaya – I can feel the busyness of mind returning. I want to write while I can still remember the high country of the mountains. I feel like I’ve developed a tolerance for cold and for icky-grief on my pilgrimage. Knowing that it won’t kill me I have some comfort, and associating it with a positive cleansing event. I feel like as soon as the back of my chest was warm, and I could really rest and relax my body, I started to feel a lot better.
“Dugar” – some way or another we will make it happen, “to adjust” – there will always be room for one more person on the bench no matter how many people keep coming.
From Prema, in response to Ed noticing that people were hammering red hot iron not even a couple inches from the white line on the road.
Journal Entry, 10/16: Peace by the Water, Confluence to Rishikesh
Woke early around 6am and enjoyed the lake with Prema and Alison. Watched eagles perch, play and compete on a tree in the lake. During yoga today I saw my reflection and felt grateful that my body was healthy instead of grateful that my body was beautiful. I also felt a great relief and sorrow at realizing the last time I felt loved and connected in a group or family was in the passing moments and meals with my family in China, and how fleeting it is – how I can’t speak the language, how the time there was lost due to illness, or concern over illness. We shared reflections, and one thing that came up was how this group helped us each shed layers we otherwise wouldn’t have been able to face. We stopped at a 1200 year old temple for lunch and were served a delicious lunch – I wanted to drink the cucumber Raita, but needed to go easy and adjust to the microbiome.
Visited confluence of the blue and brown sources of the Ganges. I felt like I could have stayed and watched the whole day. I feel like that space all the swirls represents me. We later stopped by a silent meditation cave.
Map: Uttarkashi to Gangotri
Scroll to Zoom out to see where these places are in reference to your home and other landmarks.
Kirtan: devotional song, often in call and response, “wake up the sleeping soul”
Polymorphic Monotheism: various deities represent multiple faces of universal God
Each deity is an energy
Creator, Preserver, Destroyer
God is the divine being, goddess is divine power (energy)
Krishna is god at play, Vishnu is god at work
Trip Information
The trip was run and organized by Gopi Kinnicutt, owner of Bhakti Yoga DC. The trip was managed by Prema Nanda and Radha Sheran. Skillful driving through the mountains was by Nassim. Himalayan trek guides (Jaman Singh, WhatsApp +91-89790-49706) and many porters carried our camp 9km to set up tents and kitchen for hot food. Many people were involved in arranging our transportation and lodging. Photos used were taken by everybody in the group, especially Prema, Alex, Lauren, Ande, Shannon and Johanna. Thank you!
In 2015, I left my life behind and went to Thailand. Or thought I did. I brought along with me a lifetime of habits, stowaways in the secret compartments of my mind and body.
I quested for coherence, had a lot of adventures, met many people who gave me insight into myself. I realized I am nothing and everything at the same time, the subject and object collapse at the intersection of mind and matter, that there is a vast void — and that at the end of the day, it doesn’t quite matter all the spiritual revelations that a person has, if he or she can’t take those revelations into the minutiae of everyday life.
I started a company, Compassionate Technologies, as a way to give myself the space and freedom to grow myself both spiritually and in the practical world. The pressures of the practical world were heavy, and I found myself overworked and craving for social validation. Exactly the things I’d tried to leave behind.
In April 2017, I reached a decision point. Where I couldn’t hide behind the ‘veil of my own delusions’ any longer. I realized with full clarity that I was addicted to work, and that it was a problem. I stopped all work and even told my family not to let me open the computer.
The following month was what I thought, the most difficult weeks of my life. The work didn’t stop immediately, I’d cheat here and there, of course, as addicts tend to do. But I watched myself, and when I cheated, I recognized it and asked myself why, and made a resolution not to do so the next time. That actually worked pretty well.
The next months were progressively dark and painful, as I shed away more layers, and got closer to the core pains that I had been using work as a cover and bandage for.
I found my way back to vipassana meditation, also known as insight or body scanning meditation, and found an environment that would give me a safe environment to fall apart in, and a community of other people dedicated to the same process of self discovery, growth, and healing.
I’m not entirely ready to come back, I don’t feel healed or like I know all the answers. But I also realize, that I’ll never be entirely ready for anything.
What I am ready for is the present moment. I’m ready for reality as it is, in it’s sometimes overwhelming nature, or it’s awe inspiring moments, or it’s simple, peaceful, empty moments.
With that attitude, I’m ready to move forward with my life, and stop hiding behind reasons, causes, jobs, or ideologies to give me purpose and direction — I’m ready to just be, and take things one step at a time.
So what does that mean practically? I’m applying to Ph.D. programs in computational neuroscience, looking at jobs working as staff in a research lab, or positions in business development for research departments or technology translation institutes.
In the meantime, I love writing and my mind is always swirling at the intersection of science, technology, business, and human experience — I’ll be publishing poetry or short thoughts weekly through my personal newsletter.
I’ll occasionally edit and publish promising science writers on Compassionate Technologies, giving them a well-edited byline to help them move onto bigger publications and keep some interesting content coming through the pipeline.
After working for a tech company for 6 months, and completing a 10-day Vipassana meditation, I had many thoughts about technology and how it affects our lives and our futures.
First, let me explain the concept of Vipassana. The word itself means “to see things as they really are.” The meditation is for 10 days in silence, with 10 hours a day of meditation, with no eye contact or writing. In true silence, I was left with only observing my deepest thoughts and subtlest experiences.
After 100 hours of meditation on my own mind and body, I have one large question: how can we develop technology that is healthy for our minds and bodies?
First, what is healthy?
I observed that I had a lot of anxiety and attachment to my social media accounts. Did my Instagram get enough likes? Is anyone reading my Facebook posts? Even during the retreat, I was crafting new blog posts in my mind or thinking about which pictures to post to Instagram. These thoughts were in my subconscious, and very unpleasant to experience.
A new trend tells me that I’m not alone in this experience. Last November, a young Instagram star “quit social media” revealing that her “dream life was a sham” and how psychologically damaging it was for her. In the end, in her video, she is pleading for people in tech to “make an app that is not based on social approval, that’s based on quality. I’ll promote, I’ll use it, and I think people will really love it.”
It took a very deep silence for me to realize just how obsessed and attached I was to social media – and I’m not even that active on social media, and I only started using it in my late teens. It makes me wonder, how strong is the attachment and obsession in people who have been using social media since they were young? How are children and teenagers’ minds being affected?
Second, what is the nature of the mind?
I realized that my mind is LOUD. And uncontrolled, and sometimes violent and aggressive – and bossy, and abusive, and simply exhausting.
Anyone who has sat down in silence and found themselves uncomfortably bored has this experience. And the constant use of technology means that we are never bored, we are never in silence, and our minds are always active – from when we wake up to when we go to sleep. Our mind is king.
In this interesting blog post from Melting Asphalt called Neurons Gone Wild, it posits that the mind is a group of autonomously “selfish” neurons. So sometimes one group of neurons can actually work against the benefit of the whole – like an aggressive tyranny or a harsh dictatorship.
From Vipassana, I discovered that even my most subtle thoughts I can feel in my body. This gave me a huge insight, because the reverse is also true: every sensation in my body is connected to a thought. Which brings the question, just how separate are the mind and body?
So what’s wrong with how we create now?
In the tech field, we create products that people enjoy using. In order to make money, we create products that people crave using. In general, we generate a feeling of addiction, by attaching user’s core identity and feelings of self worth to numbers.
And we do it all subconsciously.
The human mind is only capable of holding on average 7 items in working memory. This means that we are only aware of around 7 thoughts – with all the rest of the thinking (managing heart rate, respiration, emotional responses to facial expressions, reactions to subtle app designs) are underneath our conscious awareness.
Arguably, the most successful advertisers, marketers, or designers understand that most judgments and decisions are made subconsciously – and that most people are pretty much the same under the hood – so they can manipulate responses in a predictable manner to sell a product or create a feeling of craving and addiction for a certain product.
So how can we create in a healthy and profitable way?
In my job as a UX Designer and Product Manager, I have to use my empathy and understanding of how the mind works to create enjoyable apps to engage and keep users. For the company, users are dollars, and engaged users are more dollars.
However, as a human – I can’t in good faith design products that create addiction and foster craving and FOMO in people, especially young children and adolescents.
So as one of many creators in technology, I raise the challenge to all creators: can we figure out a way to profit from engaged users by fostering enthusiasm, joy, and health?
Somewhere between the Thakek Loop in Laos and Danang Bay in Vietnam… my friend forwarded me a job listing – and the email traveled in minutes all the way from Princeton, NJ to my phone in Four Thousand Islands in the South of Laos.
One really shaky Skype call later and after sending my resume over email – I stopped being a freelancer and I entered the ranks of the employed. I’ve been grinding the last two months in Bangkok, working with an amazing product and marketing team. Last month I visited Bagan in Myanmar, and last week we set up a project in Kirtipur, Nepal.
I’ve been so blessed – but also have struggled immensely over the last few months. It’s easy to lose myself in the distraction of technology or endless tasks. It’s tough to simply surrender and accept the unpleasant things in life. To let the past go. To focus on the present and the future.
I’ve been deeply influenced by Buddhist philosophy – from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, to the teachings of Eckhart Tolle, to wanting to go to Vipasana – and attending a class at the Rangjung Yeshe Institute.
Sometimes I wonder if it’s too late though. Moments like today when my heart spasmed for 20 seconds and I started to feel dizzy. In that moment I thought my heart wouldn’t start beating again, and I was excited at the thought that it might not. I know a candle that burns brightly, burns out faster.
I’ve done a lot, traveled a lot, experienced a lot. I feel like an old woman inside. And biologically, stress makes you age more – the telomeres divide and shorten faster. I know that my stress levels are regularly 10x what is healthy.. but it’s the life I choose.
Mom, Dad, Sonia – I love you. This is in case my heart actually does stop beating tonight. And everyone else, I love you too! It’s been a great ride in this collective boat of humanity. Each day is a blessing, full of both pain and pleasure. Full of samsara. I am sorry to the people who I’ve hurt.
(Alex McGlothlin, I was really mean to you and you didn’t deserve it – and I’m sorry.)
(Jeff Liu, I was also inconsiderate and selfish and you were a great person and great friend. I really love you and hope all is well)
❤ the world, the universe, humanity – and am ready for whatever adventure comes next. Whether it’s another day in this life, or something else beyond. 🙂
We had an unexpectedly beautiful drive from Hoi An through Da Nang to Hue. We drove down the beach highway from Hoi An to Da Nang and had lunch with our friends staying at Night Sky Hotel. See the map at the end for driving directions.
Beaches of Hoi An
These beaches were lovely and mostly filled with locals. The restaurants mostly serve the same fare, we had a delicious Red Snapper. It cost us 30,000 VND per person for a beachside seat in the shade. Of course, bring your own towels.
Football time on the beach 🙂
Willem enjoying the water.
On the Road to Hue
In the scenic area, the roads were well-built and fairly new. We only saw a few buses and trucks, but they were easy to pass. The mountains and view of Da Nang bay were stunning – and the pictures don’t quite do them justice. At The Rock Viewpoint over Da Nang Bay you’ll find hawkers selling iced coffee, gasoline, noodles, and bracelets. These ladies were the toughest and sweetest that we’ve encountered so far, they enjoyed listening to Willem’s music and we took a few selfies.
View of Da Nang bay.
Selfie with the lady hawkers – be careful, they’ll get you to buy!
Thanks for the hat!
Mountains and well built, wide roads – an easy and relaxing drive.
Me and my motorbike – name yet to be chosen.
About the Drive
This was an easy 4 hour drive for a total of around 130 km. Leaving at 10 AM from Hoi An, doing some shopping, stopping in Da Nang for lunch, and taking some pictures along the way – we made it to Hue with time to spare before dark.
From Hoi An to Da Nang was new, wide highway along the beach. The first portion from Da Nang to Hue was beautiful and scenic, with views of the mountains and the beach blending and unblending together.
The last 40 km of driving was along highway that is under construction. Trucks, cars, and motorbikes compete for limited space on the road, but there are “extra” lanes under construction that motorbikes pop over to. Requires eye protection from the sand, dust, and smoke that gets kicked up from the large vehicles and from the construction process. Was a bit unpleasant, but didn’t last too long.
Staying fit while traveling is one of the hardest things to do. Casual pushups on the hotel floor squeezed in between the bed and the bags gets old after a while.
Before I started my travels, I was minorly obsessed with yoga and spent my evenings after work exercising and relaxing at the gym.
We found Son Phong Gym Club a short bicycle ride away from our homestay. It’s an open gym with fans for air flow. At 11 AM in mid-June it wasn’t as hot as I expected, but we definitely got a good sweat in.
How to get in from Cua Dai Road.
Welcome to Son Phong’s Gym Club at 578 Cua Dai Road, Hoi An, Vietnam
Fans for air conditioning – and motivational posters for both men and women.
The gym is clearly more geared for weight lifting and I hesitated as to whether I wanted to spent 50,000 VND since there wasn’t much space for my yoga exercises. Luckily I’m not afraid of a little dirt and added some weights into my yoga practice.
Warrior Two at the gym.
My yoga mat and wheel.
Willem pumping iron – complete with motorcycling sun burn
I’ve been working with Meteor for a few weeks now, and just now grasped the full splendor of Meteor Reactivity. If you are new to Meteor, this is a short read that will give you an “aha!” moment.
Here’s the project I’m working on, it is very simple.
Before the reactive way, was the non-reactive way. It involved about a hundred lines of code dedicated to controlling and managing timer intervals for certain variables whose load times were variable. Those days are gone.
The hooks (the functions) are reactive – which is awesome because it means that anytime one of the Session variables changes, all functions that use those specific Session variables will re-run.
Since I’m writing this website through a VPN in China, the load speeds for each one of the code blocks below is really variable. The problem here, is that in order for Google Maps to render a map, it needs coordinates for the center of the map (Block #3) . In order to get coordinates for the center of the map, I need to get information from Iron Router about which map to load (Block #2). If I need to load the current location map, I need the current location (Block #1).
Code Block #1 – Navigator
Meteor.startup(function() {
// get current position
if (navigator.geolocation) {
navigator.geolocation.getCurrentPosition(getPosition);
} else {
alert("Geolocation is not supported by this browser.");
}
});
Code Block #2 – Iron Router
Router.route('/', function () {
Session.set('latitude_center', Session.get('latitude_current'));
Session.set('longitude_center', Session.get('longitude_current'));
});
Router.route('/bangkok', function (){
Session.set('latitude_center',13.741943);
Session.set('longitude_center',100.548653);
});
Code Block #3 – Google Maps
This block involves David Burle’s dburles:google-maps package, which really neatly wraps up the Google Maps API for easy Meteor accessibility.
In the app-maps/client/maps-client.js (I chose to structure my files into subdirectories) I have the helper functions for the template called “map”. Helper functions are by default reactive computations which means that anytime a reactive piece of data (like a Session variable) inside the function changes, the function is re-run. So take a second to look at the code.
Template.map.helpers({
// This is a helper function, so it is a 'reactive computation'
// Any time a Session variable inside it changes, the function surrounding it will run again
exampleMapOptions: function() {
if(GoogleMaps.loaded()){
// Map initialization options
return {
center: new google.maps.LatLng(Session.get('latitude_center'), Session.get('longitude_center')),
zoom: Session.get('zoom'),
mapTypeControl: true,
navigationControl: true,
scrollwheel: false
};
}
}
});
The return function causes the Google Map to render. And since the helper function is a reactive computation, whenever the Session variable for ‘latitude_center’ and ‘longitude_center’ change, the center of the map will move accordingly.
Summary
In Block #2 the Session variable for ‘latitude_center’ (center of the map) is set to equal ‘latitude_current’ (current location). Most of the time, when this code is first called, the current location is not yet known. So initially ‘latitude_center’ is undefined. If it stays undefined, no map will load.
In Block #1 the Session variable for ‘latitude_current’ is set. Sometimes it takes the navigator a while to get running. Sometimes Block #3 runs before Block #2 and the map renders as a gray because the values for the center are undefined.
Finally, in Block #3 the map is rendered according to Session variables for the center of the map. If either Block #1 or Block #2 haven’t finished running, the map will be gray. If you pay close attention, you might notice it load gray before quickly changing to a visible map.
The nifty thing, is that it doesn’t matter which order these blocks load. Because they are all linked together with reactive Session variables, each block gets “notified” when it’s time to update.
Questing for Coherence 